Me, Myself & Math

The other day I was thinking about how much easier my academic life would be if I just got over my issues with math. I mean really. Contrary to what some may say, it's not a matter of just buckling down and doing problems over and over until you get it. It's a lot more complicated than that. I can actually remember when the problems first started.

It was 7th grade. A new accelerated math program was being introduced at the school and some of us in the "top" class were put in the program. We were going to be introduced to pre-algebra. The thing about this section, that I can't remember I even knew at the time, was that it was a temporary placement. Whether or not you were kept there would depend on how well and how quickly you adjusted to the new material. After I don't know how many weeks, some got to stay in the accelerated program, while the rest of us shamefully had to return to the "regular" math class. To make matters worst, some of my closest friends stayed in the "accelerated" group and to top it off...the "regular" math teacher stunk. Needless to say, I felt really crappy and from that point on math and I never saw eye to eye again.

Until 7th grade, math was just another subject in school. Over all I was a pretty good student but I was never very motivated (except in 4th grade). I was never one of those kids who could do crazy calculations in their heads but then again my English was not that awesome either. The difference though, is that my Language Arts skills (or lack of) never made me feel inferior or incapable. I always felt that I could do better if I just tried harder. When I tried, this truth held true for every subject...except math. It seemed like I had a constant mathematician's block.

Whenever I was presented with new material I had this queasy feeling. The kind you get when you know inevitable failure awaits. I felt that no matter how much I tried, I'd never really get it. This of course, became a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more I felt this way, the less motivated I became to really try and when I did try I was too nervous to really absorb. Add to that the fact that math builds upon itself....not having the basic stuff down only crippled me.

I went to a magnet school and in the high school placement test I scored high enough to qualify for another "accelerated" math program. This time I would be taking algebra & geometry my freshmen year, and if I did well, I would catch up with my friends & be in their "section". So yeah, freshmen year was a lonely one for me, as I only had French class with the group of kids I graduated 8th grade with. Thankfully I did well and was back with my group sophomore year.

It's amazing how impressionable our minds can be! You would think that taking two math classes at the same time and doing well would be enough to dispel my inferiority complex. But no. The damage had already been done. That is the damage that I know have to deal with if I am not to let it be a deterrent to my academic/professional success. Basically, I have to find a way to conquer math.

Class

Ok, so I started taking general biology at a community college. I took the class at Rutgers about 7 years ago but I am amazed at how different it is to take it at a small school. The Rutgers class had about 400 students in the lecture hall and the class I'm in now has about 30 students. The direct interaction with the professor is really making a difference in my in-classroom learning experience. Overall I am enjoying this time around. I guess, since it's the only textbook I have to pickup, everything is a lot more interesting now.

Taking a class while working fulltime and being a parent is definitely hectic. I am thankful that my job allows some flexibility and I am not stuck taking a night one. If I had to be in school from 6:40-9:40pm I would be passed out! At 8:30 in the morning I am able to retain a lot more information because I am wide a wake.

I got my first exam back yesterday and was pleasantly surprised that I got all the questions correct. I was expecting to do well, since I had studied, but I did not foresee the 100%.

Preparing for the GRE

I will finally start my GRE preparation. For my international readers, the Graduate Record Examination is a standardized test required for admission for many graduate schools in the US (some other countries as well). There is a General Test and various Subject Tests. Most graduate programs require the general one. This exam measures verbal reasoning, quantitative reasoning, and critical thinking and analytical writing skills. From what I understand, the material tested is not particularly difficult, but, as with all Standardized exams, time constraint is everyone's problem. I can't say I'm a terrible test taker. I definitely get very nervous, but if I know the material I can get myself under control. I know people whose minds go blank or they get sick to their stomach, even though they know the material.

When it comes to my performance on the GRE, my main concern is the math section. I am one of those "I can't do math" people. Rationally, I know I can learn math if I put enough effort into it. The problem is that after years of telling myself "I can't", it's ingrained in my subconscious. I know that the first step in my GRE math preparation is to change my belief system in regards to my math abilities.

In that spirit, this morning before work (I don't start until 1pm on Thursdays) Gaby & I finally made our way to the Kearny Public Library. I'm ashamed to say that I've been living here for months & only now did get my card. My first thought as I walked in, "God I miss Rutgers". After getting over how small & cramped the place was, I found the math section. I took out 6 books, including a GRE prep, an algebra textbook (algebra is my math monster), and a conquering math anxiety book. The other 3 are also math books but will probably not be used. For some reason I have a difficult time taking out few books from the library. It becomes a problem when I miss the due date & end up paying fines for books I never opened.

I can't see myself going back to school until Gaby is at least two, so I won't be taking the test until sometime next year. I figure by then she'll be a more independent (she'll be walking!) & I'll have a little more time. I'll also have been in the workforce for a while and it will be easier for me to change my work schedule to accommodate my classes.